Crazy Stupid .. Post

Goal for February: Exercise 5 times every week.
I need to just add one more on the weekend. Swimming or running? Hmmms! Break on Tues and Sat methinks :D
Tired and on endorphin high! Should have started ages ago, I really enjoy it so much! Whoo I love sports! (that i'm decently good at hoho)

IKAN BILIS! :D

Okay using too many exclamation marks HAHA BYE.

Other goal for February, stop eating CNY snacks and down water and veg and fruits because my throat is dying and I really really really miss milo.

Reading 亲爱的安德列 now! Its actually nice and very thought provoking..........
Lalala. This is why my dad shouldn't intro books to us.. when he does it inadvertently kills all our interest in it. Its the same for my brother and me. He (brother) has now taken to hiding his library books (he borrows from library even if we have a copy at home (Y) that boy ah) from pa until he has finished reading it so that he (dad) can't say anything to kill the book. And its really really secretive NOBODY CAN SEE THE BOOK other than me awwww I'm a trusted comrade :') oh and of course after he finishes the book he becomes a complete showoff about how he's clearer and knows more about it than papa and that's very amusing to watch my brother is the best lah teehee.
Yes. Half the goodness of a book comes from the joy of discovering it by yourself.

Learning February from the seasons! Hee. Can't wait for October when I'll just, play, and, you know, be good at the song already ;(

Its 10:34 I need to go 1) wash plates 2) check up chords 3) do QT 4) dry my hair 5) O SLEEP THOU ART BEAUTIFUL.

Ignore me I'm a bit sott today.

Si quelqu'un aime une fleur qui n'existe qu'à un exemplaire dans les millions d'étoiles, ça suffit pour qu'il soit heureux quand il les regarde. Il se dit: "Ma fleur est là quelque part..." Mais si le mouton mange la fleur, c'est pour lui comme si, brusquement, toutes les étoiles s'éteignaient! Et ce n'est pas important ça!

January

And we're a month into 2012. That's .. way too fast. We're really really Year 6 now!

Haha I'm trying to keep a simple journal for this year so I don't forget what happened.

I've read 9 books this month :D and finally watched Three Idiots haha!
Yeahhh so I finished Northanger Abbey! Hoho. It was decently nice. I'll rank it third after Persuasion and P&P :)

CNY was .. a little drab this year I feel. But haha, so many little kids! Baby niece, nephew, mum's student's daughter, Ms L's baby daughter.. hee cuteness overload. And dog and cats @ Mr S's! And food! Haha its terrible to have tins of cookies and stuff beside the chair you read in when you have a sore throat. Explains why I'm still sick hehe.

Dragon Year, 2 new dragonfly records.. quite cool! Intrepid Cheong family LOL I like my dad's emailing style.

"C'est tellement mystérieux, le pays des larmes"

I love the sound of that line. Yeaps, today I was trying to read Le Petit Prince hehe and I could generally understand! Proud x) and I don't translate it in my head anymore, can just absorb the meaning. HAPPY :D haha and those random talks with JM help too although its mostly him talking and me going d'accord oui oui d'accord ahaha.

Trying to do more art stuff this year hmms its kinda fun to do stuff yourself!

Reading the Screwtape Letters now and it is so engaging. And profound truths hidden as well. C.S. Lewis is just (Y) ahh I think many relevant reminders to reflect on as well. Psalm 46:10 haha, its really amazing how God sends his messengers at the right time.

So, January. I actually do like being back in school. So I'm a sucker for routines and lists and timetables haha. Excited for February cuz I can finally learn a new piano piece! Heh I'm doing the Seasons (Tchaikovsky) this year, master one piece per month. Hahaha :D

So very relieved! Thank God. Dick just went through a heart valve operation but he reached home today. He's still very tired and has to go for rehab but he's recovering! Just got off the phone, talked to him and Barbera! Ahaha, its so good to hear their voices :) brings back the days in Schwarzwald whee. And they still can't understand my English very well haha lalala must improveeeee. Ahh really feel like a weight has lifted, I'm so glad he's fine.

I can really imagine the kind of anxiety the people in the past has suffered when letters were the only way to get information about people you love living far away. Waiting for his letter for so long while knowing that he was going to go for a heart operation was quite worrying and really if we didn't have the ability to call .. I wouldn't have found out what happened till he was strong enough to write and that's probably another month of anxiety.

PHEW. There's no other word for it yay PTL!

if only, if only

“If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, / The bark on the tree was as soft as the skies. / The wolf waits below, hungry and lonely, / And cries to the moon, / if only, if only.”

C'est ironique que il n'a jamais été près de vrai et ouais bien sûr il y avait les temps quand le rêve si insaisissable semblait proche et peut-être plus souvent qu'autrement c'est ma faute que les choses ne se passent pas mais il me frappe d'autant plus car c'est tant que je peux sentir tous comme s'il chaque partie était réel sauf que ce n'est vraiment pas et c'est tout et je souhaite et j'implore mais je ne sais pas pour quoi il est encore un "tant pis".

Yet.

In the French Psaumes "the Lord" is translated as "l'Éternel".. et alors je sais et je pense que je ne manquerai de rien.


With all I am I live to see Your Kingdom come 
And in my heart I pray you'd let Your will be done
And 'til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

Thank God for cats and yellow lamps and wooden tables and open windows and the smell of rain and blankets quilted by grandmas, and younger brothers, my younger brother!
--

Spent the morning making card collages :) inspired by hers, they're delightful!

C.S. Lewis (Essay Collection, Letters to Children)

/edit
Just finished the short stories in his essay collection and I'm like WOW, haha this guy can write! He's got me hooked and then..! Most of them aren't complete! I really loved the After Ten Years, brilliant take on Troy, I've always loved the Greek tales and ahh, how he goes into the story is so amazing. And some stories are unexpectedly dark! The first one on light and the last one on the disappearing men on the moon left me shocked and speechless. Some are seriously just dark, The Dark Tower oh man that one was creepy and as a general rule I hate horror as a genre but this, I couldn't take my eyes off and its UNFINISHED and I'm just ... AHHH WHY WHAT HAPPENED! In a way I'm glad that some parts of the manuscript is missing because those are scary parts hahaha!

Liking what he has to say on Writing, and his author reviews. Haha I think he'd be glad to know that Animal Farm is now quite a lot more well known than 1984 but hmm that really made me want to re-read Animal Farm because I remember none of it! Except the famous line of course.
And all his talk about Rider Haggard makes me want to read him too. Chesterton as well, and some other authors he mentioned sounds interesting. Funny, I never pictured the author of Narnia going into science fiction you know? But I do enjoy his writing a lot more now than I did as a (not so young) kid reading Narnia. (oh yes somehow I never loved loved Narnia.)
/endedit

"The literary man re-reads, other men simply read." -C.S. Lewis, Different Tastes in Literature.

Ergo I am literary! Hoho. And another quote from the same:

"The point is that no one cares about bad art in the same way as some care about good."

Love his essays (though I've only read the ones on English and Literature so far), his points are so well thought through and logically easy to follow; his examples and references so many. Many things to think about as well.

"The only safety is to have a standard of plain, central Christianity ('mere Christianity' as Baxter called it) which puts the controversies of the moment in their proper perspective. Such a standard can be acquired only from the old books. It is a good rule, after reading a new book, never to allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between. If that is too much for you, you should at least read one old one to every three new ones."

From his Letters to Children, to his Goddaughter:

"I am getting to be quite friends with an old Rabbit who lives in the Wood at Magdelen College. I pick leaves off the trees for him because he can't reach up to the branches and he eats them out of my hand. One day he stood up on his hind legs and put his front paws against me, he was so greedy. I wrote this about it;

A funny old man had a habit

of giving a leaf to a rabbit.

At first it was shy

But then, by and by, 

It got rude and would stand up to grab it."

The letters to her and the tone he affects is reminiscent somewhat of how Dick writes to me. Wonder what's going on over there! Hope he writes soon.
In general I like the kindness he has in answering letters and concerns of children, the grandfatherly tone he has is delightful.

But then again, letters in general are a delight! (maybe I belong in the 18th century after all). 84 Charing Cross Road (Helene Hanff) and Anne of Windy Poplars (L.M. Montgomery) come to mind - they strike me as very fire-place-y books, nice to curl up to when you're sleepy and to re-read millions of times. Only, I can't find my copy of Windy Poplars! And its by far my favourite Anne book, which makes me all the more sad. I can honestly say I've read it cover to cover so many times but have never gotten tired of it or bored at the stories.

Need to write some more myself, I'm finding it harder to find the right words to use now.

The girl bounces on the sidewalk, her hand not leaving the old man's. As they turn into the pavement leading to the apartments, the girl stops just before a crack. Her grandfather watches her, large spectacles perched on his nose, waiting. She's about to jump - but then she points to his feet, so he grins and obligingly steps back so they are on the same side of the crack. And holding hands, they hop over the menacing divide.

Jane Austen

This last holidays I've been on a Jane Austen marathon and so I've pretty much finished up her books now!

List of Works, from our beloved Wiki:
Novels
Sense and Sensibility (1811)
Pride and Prejudice (1813)
Mansfield Park (1814)
Emma (1815)
Northanger Abbey (1818, posthumous)
Persuasion (1818, posthumous)


Short fiction
Lady Susan (1794, 1805)


Unfinished fiction
The Watsons (1804)
Sanditon (1817)

Northanger Abbey (which the Clementi Library insists on having 2 copies of but which I have never been able to find!!), Lady Susan, The Watsons are the three remaining ones.

On a random note, her signature is nice! Ahaha:

On another note, Vintage Classic book covers are so pretty! After reading my first Austen VC book I've only been borrowing the VC versions. T'would convert anyone to bibliophilia I swear. 
Oh the photos don't do them justice. The spine is nice and thick and easily recognizable, the fonts are well selected and the paper nice to touch :D

Of course I've read Pride and Prejudice a long time ago but in the last year re-read it and found it as amusing as ever. What I love about her books is her slightly subtle witty remarks and the thoughts of the main characters about the people around them. Her descriptions of characters (especially superficial, to-be-hated ones) are very poignant and bring them to life vividly. Although her books are all under Romance (and her plots tend on predictable after a while), its in the 18th-century style of England upperclass - and she does a good job with dealing with the et cetera topics, family and friendships and such. I don't really like the entirely romance-Romance (Melina Marchetta strikes a good balance, thank you!), so I guess hers is veering on the boundaries of slightly too much haha.

My favourite work of hers so far has to be Persuasion. Firstly, the main character's name is.. Anne Elliot. Anne! That's all the reason I need! Haha but honestly, Persuasion was just delightful. Emma and P&P veered on overly headstrong heroines, MP and S&S went the other way. Sanditon, too short to make sense, but clearly of a rather different style than the others so I guess we shouldn't really compare them. Secondly.. Captain Frederick Wentworth? A name as good as Gilbert Blythe! :D but in all seriousness, Anne and Wentworth were brilliant characters and the openness and jovial characters of the navy captains were an added bonus. The plot though, I don't have much to praise. We all knew Mr. E was going to be despicable and that Louisa would suddenly be attached to another (the surprise was who, but I guess she did a bit of very very subtle foreshadowing to that).

Now to find Northanger Abbey! My joy would be complete. In all, Jane Austen's definitely one of my favourite classical authors.

I'll pour my love onto You

Its 2:13 in the morning and Lord, my world is quiet but for the single voice and acoustic guitar and piano accompaniment. And at this moment there's so much room, so much of something that I cannot put a name to. I'm grateful, grateful that we can call you Father, grateful that You are a friend, that You are near and not distant, that You are so real and that You have so loved us, so loved me. That in glorifying You there is joy and peace. For the many blessings in my life that I so often forget to give thanks for, a united and loving family, good health, beloved friends, that I don't have to go hungry, that I have a roof above my head, running water and electricity and that life is so easy on me, God, that I have free time, I know the leisure of reading, of music, that I had the opportunity to learn piano from young, that my family is so supportive of everything that I do, from soccer to studying what I love to going to church even though they don't share the same faith. That I have two amazing grandmothers in my life, one so full of gentleness, kindness, patience, love and the other such a strong woman, creative and intelligent; both so inspiring to me. That even before I knew You You've been watching over me, You had my heart and I've always loved You. That I grew up in a family that taught me to value and love the glories of Your works, that my parents let me roam freely in the forest and that at such a young age I've already been to so many amazing countries and seen so much that magnifies You. That I can afford to dream of a future, that I've never had to worry about my academics, that schoolwork has always been easy for me. That You've gifted me with so many things. And that You called me to You.

I will waste my love upon You, I'll pour my heart upon You. When I'm discouraged and overly self-centered remind me of You, Lord. Remind me of Your greatness.. that I shall never stand beneath an inexhaustible spread of sky and see only myself. Remind me that it all comes from You, that You give and You take away. That my problems are so laughably small. That we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, through and not into. That Jesus, You're beautiful. Not in a way that I can explain, not in a way that I have words for. That I love You because You've given me the grace to.. and I can't explain this certainty either. That You provide a way, when we're so fickle and unfaithful and forgetful and think only of ourselves and You gently remind me what I live for. I exalt You, son of God, son of men, for no other reason than that You're who You are and You see me and You know me. My cup overflows, my cup overflows and that's life in You, life abundant and life purposeful and life deposited into our unworthy hands to use as we should, for us to glorify You.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. And Father, I can laugh at the days to come because I'm waiting on the Almighty God. Highest praises to You, our Lord the Deliverer, Provider, Healer, my Lord the rock, comfort, guide. Because I know I'm in good hands, Lord my Shepherd, and I shall not be in want. That whatever the world sells, they may be attractive and flashy and tempting but they too shall fade away in a while.. for one thing remains, Your unfailing love. And life is so exciting to look forward to, so full of expectancy and hope and joy and pain too, but pain that You'll see me through. Remind me in the days to come, days of pain that You are still my God, still our Lord most high, that there's nothing to fear because our victory was already won so long ago, we are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus our Lord.

Remind me of who I am, Holy Spirit. That we're stained glass, yet when You shine your light through there's beauty. Inscribe onto my heart, at every turn be with me and remind me of Your commandments and Your law, honoring others above myself, because I keep forgetting and erring. To return my first fruits to You, commit my way to You. To be perfect as You were perfect. Grace me with zeal to serve when I don't feel like serving, love when I don't feel like loving. Grant me rest in You, in Your goodness, Your purpose. Gift me with unashamed humility and courage to act when my pride restrains me, to forget myself in You. Lead, Lord, in paths of righteousness.

God above me, God below me, God before me, God behind me, God beside me, God within me. You are everywhere, there's no hiding from You. Darkness is as light to You, nothing is too hard for You. You restore my soul. You sustain me. You redeem me. You are my song. You are my portion. You are Immanuel, God with us. You are gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. You are good, when there's nothing good in me. You are God, of all else I'm letting go.

And so now its 3:13am, Lord, may Your will be done.

New Year's Eve

The words New Year's Eve holds some magic in them don't they? Hope and dreams and misty lanes and midnight kisses :) haha so, one last post to end the year! I guess the typical thing would be to do new year resolutions heh. Anyway let's talk about other stuff first :D

Spent 30th Dec with my family at Pulau Ubin as last year. The weather was amazingly brilliant! So we went to scout out this slightly-saltwater-ish-mangrovey-but-still-quite-freshwater-river where some guy found this unknown Agriocnemis species that we might have found at Chestnut marsh.. and it was fun! Hahaha think mum got quite bored though! Last year we all slacked at Chek Jawa boardwalk and let the seawind blow in the new year :D ahaha then back to jetty for lunch and the ah mah at the 煮炒 we always go on Ubin is Hakka! :D :D then on to 李华阿姨's to visit her haha 转眼间 it's already been what, 12 years since we first met her! When we were tiny kids and could fit into her basin and bathe in the open till now, we're so much taller than her but she's still the same :) ahh, if I ever go Ubin on my own or with friends must really remember to go see her :D
And after that, went on to Grandma's place for dinner with her! She had this GIGANTIC pot of chili home grown home made home everything (Y) I'm gonna learn to sew from her using her old sewing machine! SO COOL can't wait to start xD
Hehehe 31st Dec, morning @HighPoint, 20 secs of courage :P mmm there's this uncle who travels a lot! He's been to Finland and to Norway haha, and I was translating for him and Aunty Doreen cuz she didn't know all the Chinese names 大峡谷 hehe. Super a lot to pack today! Wah but the fish was epic (Y) ended precisely at the time when I'd have had to leave for lunch with CG. Heh finally returned Mere Christianity to Bread I WAS SO AFRAID I'D KILL IT. Hehe met Ms L lalala :P bubbletea! Woots. Aha OKtea was surprisingly nice eh :O and on to church whee! Home for EOY dinner 水饺 NOMNOM albeit being very ex 水饺 nomnom ):

Recently I've read through some of my old blog posts, after seeing the 2010 Soccer CCA fair video WHICH WAS SO AWESOME by the way hahahahaha and yeah I was so different! Yan says I was more carefree then and true lah I guess, looking at the video, I'm a bit like I did that?! Haha but I believe that I've changed in the good way! As Pastor Jose P got me to realize, it wasn't an immediate change but a slow tedious one.. and there's still so much of me I want to change.

So during altar call at service today I was feeling slightly daunted at how incredibly much more I've to do and how hard it'll be to live the life I want to live.. but then as Joyce was praying for me God reminded me of how far I'd come since February 2010, and how much I'd changed, and how He was there at every twist and turn. And I got to thinking how much more we have to walk, Him and I. So then God showed me the long path ahead, but it was entirely straight, no "bends in the road" (a la Anne Shirley) because in Isaiah 45:2, He says "I will go before you and make the crooked paths straight" and yeah that's His promise for me! Encouraged with His power and peace and love for the year ahead whee, and truly I'm so blessed in my life with everything I have! PTL :D

This has been a great year! In church, in hostel, in school, outside, in my family, life in general has been pretty awesome. I've gotten to know some people better and I guess also screwed up my share of friendships, for which I really hope I can try to fix back I guess =/ mmm and yeah I had fun with you guys! Special shoutouts teehee; very beloved family of mine, for sticking with me through all my horrid years; the few close friends I'm glad to have: Bro Yan, Narmie, Phanny, GloriaChua, Conj B'ase, Jackfruitie, Yam Naan (HAHA); other friends of mine that I really love but I didn't list up there :P

In 2012 there'll be so many changes ahead hmm? Graduation year.. I'm actually quite psyched for it! Haha despite the horribly slack timetable ): new friends, better friends, so many lasts too even, so many goodbyes too! But 离开是为了回来 n'est-ce pas? Alors que sera sera, we shall see!

To tie this back to the resolutions theme, haha there's really a lot I want to do in (LOL I quote) "Chapter 12", but it all goes back to, "in my life not my will but Yours be done".. and that's really my prayer for this new year, that and Romans 12!

Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Alright, that's it! Long post long post. Lots of love and Happy New Year to all! :D

Nur Redhayanni

BRO!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY :D
Actually I got nothing left to say because of your super long letter in the book HAHAHA. So sorry I cheated you :P
Just gotta say I LOVE YOU best bro ever, today was fun teehee :)

Bros forever!
Yay that's it bye :)

Christmas,

I've never really felt like it was Christmas anytime haha, since young, cuz my family doesn't celebrate Christmas anyway, so its always been comme ci comme ça for me. I guess I don't really know what Christmas is supposed to feel like too anyway? But there's kinda this image that my mind gives me when I think Christmas, rosy and warm and fireplace-y and nice books and hot thick chocolate and blankets. Heh probably from all the subtle media influences that our so very hopeless generation is very much affected by.

Mmm this year's one was pretty good I guess! But it didn't really feel like Christmas as per usual, until the last few minutes with that Messy Christmas, though I have no idea why that brought on the Christmas tinge of feeling ahaha.

12 Days of Christmas, 11 Days to First School Day, 10 People to Do CIP With, 9 Hours before TV Time (I stand ashamed), 8 Pages of Paper to Edit, 7 Books to Read, 6 Days to Finish Learning Tchaikovsky's December, 5 History Professors to Interview, 4 Birthday Cards to Write, 3 Projects to Do, 2 Colours to Use on Bro's Present, 1 Busy Me! Bye.